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daily life for Selena Gomez—is “that situation all the time.” Yeah. Imagine one day—and this happened just a few weeks ago to Selena Gomez—you become the most followed person on all of Instagram. There’s an unsettlingly large contingent of adult men, whose motivations she surely would prefer not to think about. Imagine trying to do this while scores of people—a multimillion-dollar gossip industry, quote-unquote fans, journalists who resemble the one typing this sentence—keep tossing buckets of your old life at you like the pig’s-blood scene in But I want to make the argument that what’s most interesting about Selena Gomez right now, in 2016, is that—despite the plastic, unreal world from which she comes—she’s working her hardest to become a socially maladroit weirdo. A human who would probably gently suffocate the last living northern white rhino if it guaranteed she didn’t have to be a public figure anymore. She spent every formative year of her life with no access at all to normality, and so she is just now rebuilding it from scratch, like HAL 9000 taking back the Postmates!...

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